|[happy pills from here]|
My gp says restricting is like a heroin addiction - just because I like it and it makes me feel good doesn't mean it's healthy or good for me.
Problem is, it doesn't just make me feel good. It makes me feel awesome!! Endless energy and power. I am king of the world. I can do anything. I love it. I am high as a kite on it. Why would I want to say no?
But like all drugs, that's just the rush. There's always the morning after. Not just the guilt and regret, but also the knowledge that I am hurting myself. Really badly, possibly permanently, possibly fatally.
But I'm hooked.
I'm a drug addict.
The addiction attacks my brain with it's need to be satisfied.
But I must not give in. It is an addiction and like any addict I can't have 'just a little'. One last drink, one last cigarette, one last hit. No. Not even one. It hurts like hell but I know where it leads.
It's all fun games but it'll end in tears.