Friday, 30 September 2011

blame, responsibility and forgiveness

I have (not unexpectedly) been giving a lot of thought to my last post on blame and why I blame myself for everything. A number of you were kind enough to reach out and let me know that I am not alone in this futile pursuit, and thinking about it in the lives of others has helped me to look at the situation more objectively. So again I thank you for sharing your own stories with me :)

This is where I'm at now:


  • Blame is of no use. It wastes time and energy and does not fix anything.
  • It is possible for no-one to be to blame in a situation.
  • Just because the other person is not to blame does not automatically make me to blame by default.
  • Taking responsibility is a much more proactive and positive way to reframe my negative thoughts.
  • I can be responsible for solving a problem without being to blame for causing it.
  • If an altercation occurs which I am not to blame for, I still have the power of forgiveness.
  • Forgiveness does not mean having to apologise or feel small.
  • Forgiveness simply means letting go of blame.

Oh and you'll like this one...

I can still be responsible for my recovery
without being to blame for my illness.

3 comments:

spiritedladyliving said...

Love it PJ, especially the last one!!

HikerRD said...

I have nothing as profound as your words above to add. My only gut reaction is to try to be kinder to yourself, even to the point of letting go of the over analyzing that might drive you nuts. Just accept that you are a work in progress. And making great progress, at that.

Sarah Robertson said...

Love the last little bit.... <3