Wednesday, 27 April 2011

nervous nelly

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Had my weigh-in with the gp this morning…

It went well in that I got onto the scales. However I was hoping to be given ‘permission’ to go running again. But unfortunately (as apparently happens at this stage in recovery) my weight had dropped off a little – so she said “no” (and she gave me ‘the face’ when I asked her too).

So there goes plan A on stress relief.

I am conscious that my anxiety levels are over the top at the moment. It’s quite surreal to be sitting on the floor reading Mem Fox books to your toddler with part of your brain, while the rest of your brain is worrying that your heart could quite literally explode if it doesn’t stop beating so hard. The anxiety has been quite relentless. K says it is to be expected as I have so suddenly cut off all my other means of stress-management (hello ED…I’m talking about you!), and now I need to find other ways of diffusing…you know, before the panic attack takes hold (preferably).

So I've been  re-reading this post, which has a whole list of great tips. I’ve also been listening to Yo-Yo Ma very loudly on my ipod whenever I get the chance. And naturally Carrie (edbites) has wisdom on this topic too (see this post).

But at the end of the day, I know part of my problem is returning to work on Friday. I think until I’ve met that challenge I won’t be able to relax…

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