When I first started this post, it was going to be a glib little list of 10 reasons why I should keep fighting this rotten patch I'm going through. But it just means more than that. I've been reading a lot lately, and asking a lot of people their thoughts on the meaning of life the universe and everything, and I've found some words that resonate with me.
I have faith. I also have an education based in science - so sometimes I worry that my faith is just a fill-in for the gaps where I have no real answers, and I fall back on it because it is comforting. And I'm basically too scared to face up to realities. I've always been scared of dying. And I've always comforted myself with the simple thought that there are just things that are too complicated, that we are just not supposed to know - at least not in this world.
But these big thoughts make me feel very small. And my feeling of insignificance in the endless universe lead me to thoughts of insignificance in my life. But tackling these fears in the last few days, and asking friends for their insights has given me some perspective.
I'm asking the wrong question. I can't know why I'm here. I'm the invention and only the inventor knows what my purpose is. I can do my best to be my best, but I don't need to try to find the perfect answer.
If there was no life after this world, if this earth was the be all and end all, then why would we bother to live by any codes? Inherently we know that there must be more. Otherwise we would be completely self-centred as our actions would have no long-term consequences. But they do. We must know they do.
Life is a test. Not in a bad way - I don't believe in that sort of God. But every challenge we face is a test of our character and our strength, and how we handle these tests is a reflection of these. What we do with our lives is up to us - but we must do our best with the gifts we are given. We must use these gifts to better ourselves and the lives of those around us. We must experience as much as we can.
This life is a test - nothing we do is insignificant.
These thoughts are inspired by "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren.
I'm closing comments on this post. I do value your feedback and input with all my heart, but I'm just not up for a philosophical debate today. These are my beliefs and you are more than entitled to have completely contradictory ones. But not here, not today :)