what to look for in a 'helpful' website

okay. I went to bed last night pretty cross and upset. I've learned a lot about myself lately, and one of those things is that I don't let things go! Some one 'stronger' would just move on, but I'm going to ruminate about something that has upset me for hours (if not days).

So let's do something productive with all that rumination, shall we?

Here's a checklist I've compiled to help me evaluate a website the next time I go searching for advice in unfamiliar territory:

how does it look?

is it splashy and overly produced? yes - chances are they are trying to sell you something (even if it's just selling their treatment facility).
proceed with caution - it does not mean that their advice will be bad or wrong (it could be exceptionally helpful) - but it does mean it will most likely be one-sided.

triggering photos? 
yes - close the window down immediately!
Do not even give it a second glance. If they are thoughtless and/or unknowing enough to add these sorts of embellishments to their advice, then you don't want their advice. It smacks of lack of understanding, and most likely their advice will too.
Even I - who knows nothing about recovery - knew enough not to put photos which even I found triggering on my yoga post (and believe me there are some fab ones!) -- check these pics out tho', they are so cute!!

credentials? 

Who was this written by?
- Are they an ED specialist? Think carefully, there can be a world of difference between a dietician and a nutritionist. Do they work in private practice or are they representing a treament facility? Will they give you unbiased advice?
- Or perhaps it is written by someone recovered/recovering? This can be a tricky one. You might find this one of the best resources you come across (like Carrie's or Laura's), but if it's just an online journal of their recovery (you know, like my blog :)) then proceed with caution - it is just their opinion and will most likely be onesided and may not be based in science and may not be consistent.
- A big red flag for me is when they proudly tout that they recovered without the aid of doctors. I feel bad enough about asking for help without having someone rub it in my face that they are stronger (and inherently better) than me. So thanks, but no thanks.

what does your gut say?

Go with your gut - I knew last night that I was in the wrong place, but I soldiered on because I thought I would find some answers. But don't ignore that gut feeling. Even if I had found answers, they most likely would not have been the answers for me, because that quite clearly was not the website for me.
Even a considered, qualified, and well-balanced opinion may not be the one for me - you have to feel a connection to the author for an article to be helpful. I like straight forward, scientific and proactive writing - but that's just me. If something works for you, if it moves you forward in your recovery - if it 'feels' right - then it is probably the place for you. Follow or get the RSS feed for that site so you don't lose it!

Having said all that, this is the first time I have come across a site I felt could actually set back my recovery - everything else I have read has been caring and considered, and on the whole helpful.
Check out my list of bloggers I trust (on my left side bar) for a good place to start :)

anything to add? let me know if you've come across anything you found upsetting or triggering and I'll add it to the checklist! thx :)

'helpful' websites should know better!

am I the only one who has ever found some of the information on 'help' websites triggering? 'Cos I found a real doozy tonight...

I should have known from the outset that I was in the wrong place.

Pictures of women's midriffs adorning the home page -- should have closed the window. The one in particular along with the caption 'eating disorders' -- that flat, flat (she's never had three enormous babies) tummy and prominent hip bones -- should have closed the window.

Why did I read on?

Why, because it told me it was a 'caring' space. Pro-recovery. And I had been sent there following a tweet which promised "resources for adult eating disorders". All I want at the moment is someone to give me some guidance on how to maintain my motivation and stick to my eating plan. So I stupidly went on until I found the section entitled 'mid-life anorexia'. Ah, I think, this is where I'll find some answers.

All I found was a majorly condescending fluff piece article about one woman's experience. Not only does it actually go as far as to validate everything that ED has been telling me about how pathetic and shallow I am to have an eating disorder at my age -- but it then follows this up by talking about her current weight.

quick PJ...off to google lbs to kg conversion.
but wait, my weight must be creeping up to that now -- so if she's in recovery, then I'm overweight! crap.

reading this site was supposed to be helpful! Why didn't I close the window?

I can't tell you how much I wish I hadn't read this. Stupid stupid mistake -- and they should know better. Really really ticked off with this website. Really hurt and betrayed.

Careful what you read people. Not everyone is as careful and understanding and knowledgeable as they think they are.

Jerks.